There are times when you catch some truly inspiring moments on TV. Today's French Open finals was one of them.

     David and I would usually root for the same players and teams when we watch sports on TV. However, that was not the case this morning when we watched the French Open championships. David wanted Roger Federrer to win the French Open and I was supporting Rafael Nadal.

     For the record, we like both Federrer and Nadal. They are exceptionally outstanding tennis players. Federrer had never won the French Open in his entire career and David wanted him to get it this year. 

     I wanted Nadal to win because, by winning this year's French Open, he would tie the record of another outstanding tennis player, Bjon Borg. Federrer broke Borg's Wimbledon record last year, so I wanted Nadal to have his own record breaking moment as well. "Besides", I told David, "Federrer has already lost the Australian Open this year, let him have all 4 Grand Slams next year".    

     Like the rest of the tennis world, David and I expected an extraordinary tennis match between the world's number 1 and 2 tennis players for the championship game. It did not turn out that way, to the shock and disbelief of everyone who is closely monitoring the tennis world. Even the commentators were lost for words on how to describe the game's outcome.

     To say that Federrer was outplayed by Nadal would be an understatement. Nadal beat Federrer 6-1, 6-3, 6-0. I have never seen Federrer lost a set 6-0, and definitely not in a major Grand Slam championship. It was a bad day for one of the greatest players in the world. Even if I was rooting for Nadal, it was painful to watch Federrer beaten so badly. I think most of the people in the audience felt the same way as well.

     In the final seconds of the game, when Nadal  hit the last winning shot and knew he had won, he kept himself from "celebrating". He knew that Federrer was feeling disappointed and downhearted and he did not  want to "add insult to injury". That showed a lot of class and character for someone who just turned 22 years old. It was his day in the sun, having just won one of the biggest games in his career. He was entitled to show jubilation but his respect for Federrer came first.

     During the trophy awarding ceremony, Federrer acknowledged Nadal's victory with grace, respect and humor. He gave Nadal his due without making excuses nor berating himself. If I liked Federrer before, I appreciate him even more now and I hope he wins all 4 Grand Slams next year.

    Nadal started his victory speech with, "Sorry Roger". He knew that although he had played well, Federrer did not play his best tennis as well. This guy's humility is worth emulating. One of the commentators mentioned that Nadal's uncle, who is also his coach and trainer, gave him a motto which he has taken to heart, "Be hungry, be humble".  

     Watching these two giants, one showing grace in defeat and the other showing humility in victory, was a truly inspiring moment. A real class act, indeed.

     Click here for pictures of our first tennis practice of the year: http://gildavid168.blogs.friendster.com/gildavid_bulletin/

     These past weeks, I have been spending countless hours working outside. There were days when I would start right after lunch and keep at it  until David would call me and inquire about dinner. A few times, I would ask him if we could just go to a drive through because I was too tired to prepare our usual evening saladl. Fortunately, I have a very understanding and considerate husband who would willingly oblige his obsessive-compulsive wife  . When I start working outside, I can't stop.

     I find so much joy looking outside viewing the result of my work. I transplanted some perennial plants (mainly hostesses and ferns) and planted multi colored annuals. David and I would take turns checking out how our newly planted flowers would be doing. 

     When we moved here last year, the backyard was filled with ivy and the shrubs were overgrown. I was afraid to walk through the yard in case there are snakes and insects hiding under the thick leaves. I pulled out all the ivy (got a bad case in poison ivy too) and cut back all the shrubs. That brightened up the area. We went to a" house and garden tour" and came up with the idea of planting grass so we will have a lawn. Leslie, my sister in law suggested that we should have a place for children to play in a community like ours. That will be the next project. Meanwhile, here are pictures of the flowers that bloomed this week. 

These lovely blooms welcome us at the front porch.

I planted the pansies  in front of these purple flowers.

These lilacs are  not only attractive, their fragrance spreads throughout the garden  as well.  

This Bleeding Heart is flourishing, like there's no tomorrow, by the patio competing with the white blooms. 

     I could not ask for a more beautiful spring this year. For the story behind the pictures, click here: http://gildavid168.blogs.friendster.com/gildavid_bulletin/

     This entry is inspired by a conversation I had with my nephews Nico, Royroy and Loyloy last week. I hope mothers with young children will learn something from this.

     Did you ever remember a time when your parents (and/or significant adults in your life) did something to you that you did not like, and you told yourself, "When I become a parent, I will never do this to my children."? 

    If I had a dollar for all the times I had said those words, and deposited it in the bank, I would be a millionaire many times over by now.

     Growing up in a strict (and disciplinarian) clan, it was easy to find things that I felt, as a young girl, should not have been done to children. We lived in an almost one hectare family compound and the number of adults who scolded me when I "messed up" included parents,  grand parents, aunties, grand aunties and some of the helpers. I collectively call them "elders" (different from the "Council of Elders" which refers to my grandmother and her sisters).  They were a threatening bunch from the eyes of a  little girl. 

     I suppose my siblings felt the same way too, but I am only speaking from my perspective. I saw the "elders" as adults who did not have seconds thoughts about criticizing, scolding and striking at a child. Even then I had asked myself, "What right do they have to treat children that way?". In fairness, they also taught me very important positive life lessons which I will write about in another entry.

     As a young adult with a degree in Psychology, I started to understand the reason behind the behavior of the "elders". I did the healing work required so that the cycle of criticism and "put downs" would not be passed on to the next generation. I would like to think that I don't treat my nephews and nieces in the same way that I was treated by the "elders". Still, I am so painfully aware that I have "slipped" on more than one occassion. 

     I remember how one woman said, "I hate myself because the things I hated about my parents, I am doing to my children".

     It takes a lot of effort to liberate oneself from the negative experiences, beliefs, superstitions, and ways that we were brought up with. They are embeded in the subconscious mind. They are part of who we are and, unless we make a conscious effort to work on ourselves, they will be our legacy to the next generation. They will have a way of showing up specially during times of stress.

    For instance, growing up, I was often scolded for sitting down idle and doing nothing (no, they did not know that I was doing something in my inner world of thoughts and ideas). I would be told to get my rear end off the chair and do some household chores or to sweep the leaves outside.  I hated it when the elders did that....and yet, I have done the same to my nephews and nieces. I may not have said it as harshly as the elders did, but I was just as guilty.

     I believe that the only way to avoid handing down this negative pattern to the next generation is to try and understand where, how and why this has come to be.

     As Louise Hay would say, "We are all victims of victims." They were only "passing on" what they themselves have gone through because they did not know any other way of behaving. When we understand this we can stop the blame, choose to forgive, be healed and, with grace, stop carrying on the pattern of criticism, put downs and rejection.

    The next generation does not need to go through the rejection and pain we went through. When we heal our hearts, the next generation and the one after that will be healed as well.

     So next time you catch yourself doing to your children what you said you would never do, think "Oh oh, I have some elder work to do again.".

 (my generation)

(the next generation)

      "This is going to be one serious topic for a blog." , said my husband after I drove him crazy yesterday.

     I had asked him two days earlier if he would mind my transferring the "Prayer Room" to the "East Bedroom". I explained that the "Prayer Room" was more suited as a reading room/second guest room because it was more "yang". He said that he would not have an issue with the change; so Friday after lunch, I tackled the job.

     Let's rewind a few weeks earlier. I volunteered to do the Feng Shui of Tara's (David's niece) and Allen's new house. Since this would be their first exposure to Feng Shui, I did not want to overwhelm them with the complex computations used in the Compass School (and Flying Star forms) of Feng Shui. Instead, I decided to apply the simpler, more western, form used by the Black (Hat) Sect Tantric Tibetan Buddhist School (which I affectionately call the Black Hat). 

    While the Compass School and the Black Hat School (also referred as Form school) share some similarities, they also have some essential differences. When I studied Feng Shui in the 1990s, I was first exposed to the Black Hat School but I shifted to the Compass School a few years later. I used the latter to determine the Feng Shui of our present house (took me two days!).

     I had to retrain myself once more in the Black Hat form in order to assess Tara's house. I came accross the books of Terah Kathryn Collins and fell in love again with the Form School of feng shui. 

    After I did the analysis of Tara's house, I did an assessment of our house as well. I realized that I needed to do some rearranging and transferring. It was this moving and rearranging that caused my husband's above comment.

    I was reminded of a similar comment made by my youngest brother Paul, many years back, when I asked him to transfer from the south room to the northeast room (the area of the youngest son). He said, "What? Another book, another transfer!" 

    I started moving things last Friday. David was happy with what I did. On Sunday afternoon, after we came home from Mass, I was rearranging things again!  This lasted until the evening. My bewildered husband was wondering what I was up to.  .

     When I make Feng Shui changes, I have the tendency to keep moving things around until they "feel right". I sat down on the floor in order to check the "feel" of the new arrangement .  I was a little cold, so I took a comforter and wrapped it around me. David came into the room and saw me on the floor covered with the comforter.   He worriedly asked, "Are you alright?". I told him that I was fine, I was just a little tired with all the moving and rearranging.  

     He looked at me, a little unconvinced, and said, "This is going to be one serious topic for a blog. "  I said,"Yes, it will be entitled, 'How I Drove My Husband Crazy'."        

    I was still at it until about 11:30 in the evening (I decided to make some Feng Shui enhancements as well). This morning, I cleared my clutter and admired the results.

    I turned to my husband and appreciated him for his enormous tolerance and loving understanding of my periods of "extreme temporary insanity" . I am very aware that my behavior would have driven a less tolerant husband into an inauspicious behavior that would have resulted in a conflict. Fortunately, my David has extraordinary forbearance.

     The more I know this man, the more I grow in my love and appreciation for him. He is the only man I know who would give me a hug after a day of driving him crazy .

Here is a tag from Mel:

1. Four Jobs I Have Had

   Teacher, Children's Talent Education Center, Manila

   Teacher, University of San Carlos Psychology Department         

    Staff, Redemptorist Justice and Peace Desk, Cebu                                  

    Program Director, Education for Peace Children's Mission, Philippines

2. Four Movies Watched Over and Over

    Star Wars Series, The Sound of Music, Gandhi, Harry Potter Series

3.  Four Places I Have Lived

     I have only 3, Cebu, Manila and Ohio

4. Four Shows I Watch

    MI-5 (Spooks), Law and Order, NCIS, The Wire

5. Four Places I Have Been To                                                                 

    Germany, England, Holland, Japan                                                                                                    

6. Four People Who Email Me (since this is limited to 4, I apologize to those I cannot mention )

    My nieces and nephews (Cebu) , My Brother, Daisy (Cebu), Paula (Germany)

7. Favorite Things to Eat                                                                          

   Chinese, Pot Roast, Seafood, Fried Rice  

8. Four Places I Would Rather Be Living

    I like my present home (though I would like to be somewhere warm right now)

9. Four Things I Look Forward To This Year

    My 10 Year Greencard,  Trip to Michigan, The Cincinnati Tennis Tournament, Another vacation (?)

     This is an offshoot of Rheb's "What's in Your Kitchen?" blog entry.

     Back in the Philippines, my bedroom was a library with books on psychology, philosophy, spirituality, self help, metaphysics, alternative health, feng shui, best sellers and several others.

     It did not take long before I started collecting books again when I got to the U.S. David is also into books and, last December, we made one of our bedrooms into a reading room.

     Here are some of our books and reading materials:

 (our magazines)

 (health books)

 (tennis books)

 (self help books)

(books by Paolo Coelho, Louise Hay and Caroline Myss)

(books on feng shui, gardening and home decorating)

 (best sellers)

   (David's books on accounting, finance and flying)

(books in my prayer room including the priceless Autobiography of a Yogi)

     One of the joys of living in the U.S. (other than free coke refills ) is our updated, well supplied library. David and I are regulars there. I put our borrowed library books in a special chest so I can keep track of them.

         Calling Rhebs, Geri, Sandy, Tess, Darl, Lanie, Kim, In-in, Mel, Honeylet, Dauphine,  Steph, Maycie, Banot, and May. What's in your library?

     A super blizzard struck Ohio last Friday through Saturday leaving 20.4 inches of snow, 1,914 crashes, and two deaths. Ninety percent of flights were cancelled, most business were closed and many events (including Church services) were cancelled. People were adviced to stay in their homes.

     The last time central Ohio saw this magnitude of   snow for a single storm was 98 years ago and that was only 15.3 inches!

     The blizzard started Friday noon as we were leaving for my biometrics appointment. On our way home, it started to pick up.

      This was how our front yard looked when we got home. 

This was how it looked the following morning. 

Here is a shot from another angle on Friday afternoon. 

This was how it looked the following morning.

      It was a sight to behold! David said the last time he saw this much snow in Columbas was in 1987, ands that was only 12.2 inches.

     When the winter storm warning was issued on Thursday, we went on a "just in case we get stuck for a few days" trip to the grocery store. By the time the blizzard struck, we were observing it  in the comfort of our home. 

     I prepared a lovely lunch, we watched a movie on TV and spent a peaceful afternoon together while a strong wind, coupled with heavy snow, was wrecking havoc outside .

   By early evening (on Saturday), it was over. Our driveway was covered by over 12 inches of snow. David was worried that we might not be able to get out in case of an emergency so we decided he decided to shovel the snow from our driveway right after dinner. I told him it was cold outside, but he did not want to wait because the task would be more difficult when the snow hardens. 

     He invited me to come outside so I would experience my first blizzard. I grabbed the camera and  took a picture of him shoveling. I tried my hand on the shovel but it was  heavy so I went back inside the house to stay away from the cold. I felt uncomfortable and a little guilty leaving my hardworking husband to do the job alone. We have a long driveway and it was a strenous job. I went out to see if there was something I could do. I found our dustpan and used it to help him out. We worked for over a hour but we got our driveway cleared. 

Just for fun, I took a stick and wrote "Gildavid" on the snow.

     Our "Blizzard of 2008" experience taught me a life lesson. Blizzards are part of nature's expression of life. Like nature, blizzards are also part of our lives. These are often called  "crisis", "problems", "difficulties" and (for the proactive ones) "challenges".

     The common reaction to a crisis is panic, confrontation, escape, withdrawal, confusion or helplessness. Neither of these are affective ways of dealing with the predicament.

     From our recent blizzard experience, I realized that a crisis can be handled in a more graceful manner.

     Just as we prepared for the blizzard by going to the grocery store the moment we were aware that one was coming, I figured that we too can prepare for a crisis the moment we realize that one is heading our way. This can be done by regularly strengthening our "problem solving muscles" by doing "self work"  and "self empowerment" exercises so that our unfinished business will not cloud our judgments when we are in the middle of a crisis. Developing a healthy spiritual life is another  great way of doing this because it enables us to tap a Power higher than ourselves for assistance.

     Just as we calmly enjoyed a wonderful lunch and a relaxing afternoon while a storm was brewing outside, we can also create a calm and peaceful place within ourselves where we can seek refuge and find balance, and seek guidance during difficult times. When we are able to access this place, we will be able to go to the next stage with some degree of clarity.  

     Lastly, just as we went out and did the hard work of clearing the driveway after the blizzard, we also need to be willing to do whatever intelligent work is required, even is it is difficult, to bring about the best  resolution to the situation we are in.

    When this is done, we will we find ourselves standing on a clear driveway, ready to move on.

     True, blizzards are scary, but since they are a natural part of life, we cannot avoid them. We can only prepare for them so that, when they do come (knock on wood ), we can handle them gracefully and still manage to have fun .

     Oh, and one more thing about blizzards, they are temporary.        

      More pictures at this site:  http://gildavid168.blogs.friendster.com/gildavid_bulletin/